(no subject)
Sometimes, taking a step back and facing your reality is so contradictory in and of itself. You can feel freed it a lot of ways, but also more heartbroken than you had ever imagined.

It's hard when you want someone to love you, and they do not. And when you're faced with the reality that they are about to move on in life, meet new people, see new things, and meanwhile, you remain planted in the same place where all of those memories you hold so fondly to that person flood you.

(no subject)
Cincinnati is interesting.

I have my apartment in Covington. It's really cute, really me. I enjoy it a lot. I look forward to having it completely furnished. Only thing I hate about it is the traffic. I've never had driving give me so much anxiety.

Speaking of cars.

I'm getting my fixed today. I would say tomorrow, but I'm an insomniac. The brakes are shot, so I'm hoping I make it alright throughout the interstate, ahah. Crossing my fingers.

Totally random, but I also made a match.com profile. I'm aware that it's a pathetic move, but I'm really to start dating again. Mind you, I'd love nothing more to just jump right into a relationship. The dating game is exhausting to me. All of the exchanged information, engaging with one another to see what makes the other person tick, etc. I haven't subscribed yet though. For one month, it's 34.99, which is fucking outrageous if you ask me. I suppose if I DO meet someone, then it'll be worth it.

Oh, what to do.

Graduate School Line-up
Penn State
University of Indiana in Bloomington
Temple University - Tyler
Bowling Green State

-sigh, mumble- Still applying. Scary.

some random art appreciation...

Cy Twombly's work rocks my world. So elegant.

It's, like, Fall.
Things have been hectic, but I've somehow survived.

Getting this show put together has been nearly impossible with the little time I've had outside of school and work. To fix this, I've decided that I'm going to shrink down my work availability. Granted, this will be hard on me bills-wise, it'll allow me the time to focus. Fuck, this is only the beginning, and I'm already freaking out.

Aside from all of that mess, Meredith and I had dinner tonight. It was a lot of fun, despite the frightening numbers of WVU enthusiasts occupying the roads. I have no problem with you liking football or what-have-you, but please, pretty please, do not run me off of the interstate just because you're wanting to make it to a game on time.

Also, I've changed up my wardrobe a bit. It's a gradual move, but a good one I think. I'm finding that I like dressier clothes now, so I've been stocking up. I think it'll be a good decision, especially for future interviews, dates, occasions, etc. I bought my first bottle of Chanel cologne the other day. Does this mean I'm a big boy now?

Yeah, I'm broodier than Fiona Apple on her birthday.

I managed to fix the senior show situation. Dr. Hollinger understood my situation and was more than willing to schedule my show during the weekend instead of a weekday. So my mom will be able to attend my exhibit after all. Telling her the news was so great. You could hear so much relief in her voice over the phone.

So yeah, good stuff.

Oh, and I might be going here (see below) come Spring. It's a big might, but the fact that its a possibility is kind of exciting.

Um, yep. PRETTY EXCITED. I hope this will work out. If not, then I could always plan it again someday.

I stumbled upon this last night:

Kind of neat!

I've officially started the work for my show. I received some encouraging words from one of my professors today. I'm looking forward to this so much.

November 16. I can do this.

Voice Post
456K 2:21
“Like I can transcribe my babbling.”

Transcribed by: pandasandlions

oh hi, this is me whining or something like it.
When seeing livejournals or facebook pages of people who seem indisputably happy, I wonder if they really are that happy, or if it is only a front. Granted, I don't wish sadness or loss upon anyone, but I've wondered if they're as happy as they are because they've simply never experienced anything significantly troublesome. Don't misunderstand, I'm grateful for what I have. I'm damn lucky to have a roof over me and the opportunity to be in school. I think I just envy people who seem so carefree...like the biggest thing they have to worry about out of their day is getting the right coffee at starbucks or impressing some guy or girl. That, or they're always going somewhere, like to the beach or somewhere relaxing. I just don't have time to focus on things like that. I can't conceive of having so much leisure time.

I just feel so weighed down by my responsibilities. Money gets tight, I become mercilessly frugal to the point where I end up on a diet consisting of cereal and ramen noodles for a week. Despite all of this, I always manage to find comfort, but I remain envious of the people who have it so easy. What makes it worse is that I work with people who live with their parents, and the only thing they freak out about is the bill for their i-phone service or this silly fucking tattoo they want.

Aside from the aforementioned, this will be a tough semester. I've been getting up early every morning and going to the studio to work on my art for my senior exhibition. Granted this show is in November, I'm trying to plan ahead so I'll have something I'm completely and totally proud of. I can't half-ass it. The scariness of the situation is starting to kick in, I think. This is my future, so I have to work hard if I want this to mean anything at all.

meh, I'm going to bed. Long day tomorrow, most likely.

Things are okay.

Financial Aid went through wonderfully this year. Three scholarships, two loans, and two grants. Actually, I think I'm going to be taken care of for once...

Whetstone has finally been published. I'm thrilled with the way it turned out. The first set of distributed issues basically flew off of the stands. So happy with the outcome. Very proud.

Through all of the depression and all of the losses, I'm happy with the way things are turning now. I'm finally getting a grip on myself. I'm very lucky to have who I have in my life.


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